It was the day before Martin Luther King day and I was sitting in my cubicle, trying to decide whether to go ask Eddie if he had any plans for the day. The national holiday honoring Dr. King was only a year or two old and many white people resented it. Back then, we all had the day off, black and white, but many white people refused to take the day off and came to work anyway. Some were belligerent about it, and some just took the opportunity to catch up on their work backlog. I had a backlog, but I hadn’t decided whether I would come to work or not.
Eddie and I were very good friends and he was black, but he never, ever, talked about being black, and he didn’t encourage others to mention it either. In fact, I had tried “teasing” him about his blackness, and he had made it clear that he didn’t appreciate my jokes. He seemed to prefer that nobody mention his race at all and that bothered me. I wanted to talk about it, but Eddie was the only black computer engineer in the company and if he wanted people to act like he was white, I would respect his wishes- most of the time. I do enjoy pulling people’s chains, though, and I was curious about whether Eddie celebrated the holiday. In fact, I wondered whether Eddie knew he was black. So you see, I was pondering. What’s wrong with asking a black friend about their plans for King Day anyway? So what if it makes him squirm? Serves him right for being sensitive about it.
As I was pondering, Eddie appeared at the entrance to my cubicle. I looked up at him, trying to decide whether to ask him or not, and I decided to go right down the middle of the road. “Hey Eddie,” I said. “Are you takin’ the day off tomorrow?”
“Sure,” he answered, and just stood there looking at me. OK.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “my family and I are going to a picnic.” Silence. Now I was squirming and I didn’t know why.
“Goin’ to the parade?” I asked.
“Oh sure, we’ll go to the parade,” he said. More awkward silence.
Then he asked, “What are you going to do?” Uh-oh. Was he challenging me about this? After I had to practically pry the tiniest bit of information about his plans from him?
“Well, I may come to the office…I haven’t decided yet. I’d like to take the day off in support, of…you know….but I do have a lot of…”
He interrupted and shocked me by asking, “Are you doin’ anything for Martin Luther King Day?”
“You mean celebrating?”
“Yea.”
I answered, “No. Well,” with an embarrassed chuckle, “I might take the day off. I am completely supportive of black people celebrating,” I didn’t like the way this was sounding and I was resenting him putting me on the spot like this. “but….no…I wasn’t planning to do anything MYSELF to celebrate.”
“You don’t think Martin Luther King did anything for you?” he asked.
What in the world? I wondered whether I really knew this guy at all. “Actually, no.” I might as well be honest. “I think he did a lot for black people… and it is certainly worth celebrating…but no, I don’t really think he did anything for white people… necessarily…no.” OH it was embarrassing to be talking right out in the open about this.
“Well he did.” he said simply.
“Oh?” I asked.
“If it weren’t for Martin Luther King, you wouldn’t have me for a friend.” He smiled and walked away.
Confessions of a Southern White Woman 